I'm homesick.
I'm really, incredibly, ridiculously homesick. I've never been homesick for more than an hour (no joke - first year of college I got homesick for an hour, three weeks in. After that I was fine.). I'm supposed to be immune to homesickness, dammit.
And yet... here I am. I don't know if it's even homesickness so much as it is loneliness - every other time I've been away from home for an extended period of time, there've been other people my age around, or other people doing the same thing (like... going to college, or participating in a program, or whatever). Here... my boss doesn't have any full-time employees; most work is done via contract. The only other intern I've met has teenage kids (and was a lawyer before she decided to try her hand at publishing). There isn't, needless to say, a whole lot of opportunity for me to socialize in the office. And my flatmates are nice and all, but... they're flatmates, not friends.
Right now just thinking about the fact that I am homesick makes me cry, so I am trying not to think it too often (last week I started crying in the middle of the public market. Bad form, that. I could tell that the man at the next table was eyeing me, trying to figure out if he should do something, so I dried my eyes and left).
Don't get me wrong - I love my internship; I like the area where I'm living; nothing's wrong. I'm just... homesick. Or lonely. Or something.
I just need to meet people or something, huh? I should figure out how to do that.
Anyway. Back to your regularly scheduled programming (I'm not looking for sympathy, by the way. I've wanted to write about homesickness - just wanted to get it all out - but up until today this blog was elsewhere, where my sister reads. All Vancouver-related posts before this one are back-dated).
Today was... short. I went in early again today and wandered around Granville Island for a while. It's such an interesting place... I'm learning my way around (after work I went into what I thought was a toy store - it's not just a toy store, it's an entire complex of toy stores).
I don't know where my attention was today, but it wasn't really at work. Unfortunate, rather, because I didn't get much done; on the other hand, my boss left early and told me that I didn't have to stay and he'd see me tomorrow. I did a quick copy-edit on a manuscript, tried to figure out who I need to call tomorrow (I should have just done it today, but god I hate the phone. I'm kind of hoping my boss will do it...), and left. I did a bit of wandering, but it was pouring again so there wasn't a whole lot of point to it.
More rain tomorrow.
Sunshine? Please?
1 comment:
1) i'm not going to leave a sympathetic remark (even though i am very sympathetic), but i will say i understand the EXACT feeling. it can suck. especially when nothing is supposed to be wrong.
2) I JUST HAD A MAJOR, MAJOR, MAJOR DEJA VU (insert accents where appropriate). Your blog triggered a memory of a dream i had. in the dream i was reading through a blog that looked exactly, exactly like yours and i was all stressed out because i had to tell you that the world was ending and we had limited time to do whatever it was that we had to do and i had to do it through your blog. or something.
3) yes, i know i am weird.
4) but i probably just predicted the future.
5) i bet the world is really ending.
6) bum bum BUMMMM
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